Mastering the art of listening

Master the art of listening to increase understanding, encourage our people, and help them grow

Many leaders cringe at the term “active listening”. We’ve all been told it’s the key to having successful conversations, but it’s become so overused it’s almost an anti-buzzword.

That being said, active listening is still one of the most important and effective coaching concepts. And from my experience, if we can listen really well, people almost coach themselves.

Here are some of our top tips on how to become a better listener.

Restate using their words

We all know that repeating information back to someone is a great way to indicate understanding. But we need to make sure we use their words, rather than paraphrasing. If we try to rephrase in our own language, we may not capture the essence of what the individual said. This could lead them to believe we don’t really understand them.

Use encouragers

Be positive and encourage the individual to say more. We can use expressions, such as “it sounds like you’re taking the right steps”, or “it seems like you’ve made some great progress so far”. These are great ways to encourage and keep our people on track.

Validate

There are always reasons behind why people feel and act the way they do. We don’t have to agree with those reasons. But appreciating and validating the way others feel will help us understand them better and be more effective leaders.

Use silence

We shouldn’t be afraid to leave silence on the table. When we do, we may be surprised at what happens. Silence can be a way to let the other person digest and reflect on what’s been said. So it’s important to give people a moment to think through things, before moving on to the next question or discussion topic.

Use “I” messaging

We can reduce defensiveness by describing only behaviors that we’ve observed. For example, say “I’ve noticed you appear stressed because of x, y, z”, rather than “You are stressed.”

Reframe or redirect

Rather than imparting our own knowledge in the form of advice, we can reframe situations for the individual to consider. For example, ask “Have you thought about the situation in this way…” and share a different perspective or redirect their thinking in a new area they may not have thought of.

Why does listening matter so much? It helps people teach themselves, rather than learning from us.

The less talking we do, the more our people will talk through their own problems and come to solutions themselves.

Including even just one of these communication tips into our everyday work can set us on the path to helping our people help themselves.

Impact can help

Want to increase your effectiveness as a leader, and help engage your people and teams more? Contact us.